Single Mans Guide To Picking Up Women
Self-confidence is extremely sexy to a woman. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that, more than a man's good looks and more than his gentlemanly manner, confidence is the trigger trait that makes a woman want to get naked. You remember that scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta takes Lorraine Bracco to the Copa? He slips her through the back door, tipping heavies the whole way, chatting up other wiseguys, and finally ending up at a table in front of the stage. Liotta had something much more important than a roll of Franklins: He had confidence. And its effect on Bracco was clear. You knew he was getting laid that night.
'Women want a man with steel balls,' says R. Don Steele, without a hint of irony in his voice. Steele is the author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide during Courtship and Dating. 'This desire is evolutionary. Females want someone who's not going to run from a fight, a man who is confident in his ability to provide and protect.'
Simply put, confidence gets the girl. So if you want to be more attractive to women, show your bravado. But I don't mean by pounding your chest or the drunk at the end of the bar. You don't have to be a wiseguy to make yourself instantly irresistible. Here are some more-effective techniques.
Walk This Way 'Women look first at your attire and second at how you walk,' says Steele. Keep your wardrobe stylish and impeccable. Ashley Rothschild, a Los Angeles-based image consultant, suggests you emulate the look of a successful public man in your business arena. She also thinks you'd look hot in a leather jacket.
It's classic. It's Steve McQueen.
'Confident people are not in a hurry,' says Steele. 'But there's a difference between meandering and walking slowly with purpose. Always walk as if you know what you're doing and where you're going.'
Look into Her Eyes Tell her you love her dimples while gazing at her feet and you'll reek of emotional insecurity. If locking eyes with a stranger feels uncomfortable, focus on her mouth and she'll never know the difference, says Renee Piane, a motivational speaker and author of Love Mechanics: Power Tools to Build Successful Relationships. Staring elsewhere makes you appear uninterested, inattentive, or insincere—especially during sweet talk. Also, she'll respond best to realistic compliments. 'You're the physical embodiment of everything I look for in a woman' will immediately set off her bullsh-t alarm. 'You've got beautiful eyelashes' will make her blush.
Take a Compliment When she says she likes your dimples, simply 'smile and say thank you,' says Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room. Insecure people deflect compliments by asking, 'Really? You think so?' Or by listing reasons they don't deserve the compliment. Secure people accept praise gracefully and without ado. Call Before Day 3 She gave you her number. Use it within 48 hours or you'll look either scared or stupid for resorting to high-school mind games.
Manage the cold call as you would a business call. 'Executives are action-oriented, gathering information and wasting no time in getting a project started. Apply these tactics to your private life,' suggests Judith Coche, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Pennsylvania. 'If you fail, move on. It's not about personal rejection—it's the business of making stuff work,' says Coche. Perform at the Beep If you get her voice mail, leave a message.
To convey confidence, your voice should be deep and moderately loud. Stand up and hum a little before you call—it will bring your voice to the ideal pitch. 'Say who you are, where you met, and why you're calling,' says Kent Sayre, author of Unstoppable Confidence. 'Don't seek her approval. Instead, ask a question that presupposes her interest in you, like, 'How soon would you like to get together?' That way it's not a matter of yes or no.'
Leave your number and ask her to call you back. If she doesn't, call her again a couple of days later. Don't Expose Your Negatives When talking about yourself, keep it positive. Stick to your best attributes and the interests you're most passionate about. 'Give the press-release version of you,' says Kate Wachs, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Relationships fo.
Singapore, a tiny nation-state at the southern tip of Malaysia, is really on the rise these days. A haven for big banking and other big money businesses it is quickly, along with Hong Kong, turning into the economic powerhouse of Southeast Asia. Shit is happening there, skyscrapers are going up all over the place and people are immigrating from all over the region (and the world) to get in on the party. With that in mind, I went to Singapore for an extended period this summer and I have a lot to say about it. There’s great party there and an enormous number of hot chicks, but despite those advantages Singapore is absolutely not a recommended single dude travel destination. The first reason is the cost. Singapore is a super expensive place.
The first night I was there I went to the bar and ordered a pint of local brew on draft, Tiger Beer. $18 SGD ($15 USD). That was at a somewhat fancy place and prices at super high end places can be as high as $25 SGD ($21 USD). Add this to the club entrance fees which can often be $30 SGD and up and you can easily spend a couple hundred bucks going out on a weekend night and not even get drunk.
I personally prefer cheaper places where you don’t have to call your broker to sell your investments in order to go out and party, places where you can go out freely without worrying that you’re going to spend your whole paycheck on mediocre Southeast Asian beer. To party well and survive financially in Singapore you have be smart about it. My Singapore nightlife survival strategy includes several tricks to take the edge off the high drink prices: 1. Duty Free – Every time you come into Singapore from abroad (except from Malaysia, nothing is allowed) you must bring booze from Duty Free. This will save you lots of money over the store price and enormous amounts over the bar price. Unfortunately the duty-free allowance is only 1 bottle of booze (1 liter), 1 bottle of wine (750 ml), 3 bottles of beer (330 ml each), and no cigarettes.
If you bring a second bottle of anything you must pay a tax of $70 SGD ($55 USD) or risk a big fine if you’re caught. They will also fine you a shitload if you are seen with even one pack of foreign cigarettes without the import sticker (even if it’s only a partial pack and you opened it before you arrived), so or get ready to pay $12 a pack for your cancer sticks. Predrinking – Never go out sober. Have a little predrinking party at your place with your duty free booze or at least cheap beer from 7-11 before you go out and make sure you are pretty drunk when you arrive at the club. Networking – Singapore is full of cool rich trust fund kids and other, if you’re a cool single dude one might take you under his wing, get you into clubs and start letting you drink his bottle service. Be cool, let him offer a drink first, don’t ask for it. Buying a cheap happy hour drink for one of those guys can often pay off in spades.
Flasking – Singapore is usually a safe place, so they won’t pat you down when you get to the club. That’s good, because I always bring a flask or water bottle filled with vodka or some other high proof spirit with me to the club and then add that to ice or my rare $15 purchased drink.
Happy Hours – Singapore has some pretty good deals (by Singapore standards) for happy hour, like buy one get one drinks, cheap jugs of beer, etc. When possible do your drinking there and then have a chick over for the real party at your place in lieu of going out.
Women Picking Up Men
Chinatown, Food courts, and Hawker Stalls – For food, this is the way to go. Why pay a shitload for bad service at a real restaurant when you can get cheap delicious food at food court or hawker stall and pick up chicks while you’re there? That’s what the non-millionaire locals do for food in Singapore and it’s a much better option. Everything is expensive in Singapore, especially housing. Since it’s such a small country, apartments and hotels are quite expensive.
Taxis are OK, although it seems like there’s a surcharge pretty much for everything – rush hour surcharge, night surcharge, city center surcharge, airport, etc. You’re better off taking the MRT (Metro) and buses which are everywhere and cheap.
Get a $7 SGD ($5.50 USD) rechargeable card for $12 SGD ($10 SGD) and refill as necessary with the pocketfuls of change you will accumulate everywhere. The second major problem with Singapore are the local chicks. I have been around much of the world and so far the Singaporean girls are the worst I’ve ever met. They say there that all the Singaporean chicks are looking for the “5 Cs” in a man-.
Missing one of the aforementioned Cs is grounds for immediate disqualification by these gold diggers. The normal way that I like to meet chicks – “Hi! (smile)” does not seem to work on a Singaporean chick like it works on a – she’ll often give you a weird forced-half smile and then just turn her back to you.! The only technique that we’ve found that seems to work is to find a mixed group of Singaporeans and talk to the guys in the group while ignoring the chicks until the chicks start to take an interest in you. Then you can meet the girls. Overall I say it’s not worth the trouble.
Art Of Picking Up Women
She probably won’t really work that great as a partner anyway. But don’t lose heart, there’s plenty of other chicks in town. Just like, as a center of business there are chicks from all over the region in town trying to make it, and if they haven’t been infected with the goldiggerism like the Latina girls in are after a couple months you have a good chance to make it work with the foreign chicks.
Another problem with Singapore is that it’s a sausagefest. All the upscale clubs are just filled with Western business-banker types on expense accounts wearing long sleeve striped shirts, if you are making progress with a chick at a club and you leave her alone for a couple minutes, be ready to find her just absolutely surrounded by when you get back. This is another good reason to focus on in Singapore. The Singaporean guys, oh my.
Nice dudes, but there are so many fagbagsters there. For those unfamiliar, here’s the Single dude Travel definition: Fagbagster – A relatively new species currently very common in Asia, the fagbagster combines the quality of self-primping with the pussyness of, all sewed up in a handy effeminate Asian package. Complete with man-purse, eyliner, frosted tips and Zoolander face pout, the fagbagster is populous and growing in number, especially in Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, and God knows where else in Asia. Foreign correspondents, please report back about the other Asian countries. Our buddy Art Pfister, who has lived there for years detailed for us one of the most common techniques of the Singaporean fagbagster when he picks up a girl. He walks up to a Singaporean girl and shyly asks for her phone number.
Then, after she gives it to him, because he’s Singaporean and nonthreatening, he walks away to a different part of the bar and flirts with her via text messages. But apparently it works, because we see a lot of hot chicks with fagbagsters around town.
Maybe it’s the heat, but the Singaporean brains just don’t work in the same way that yours and mine work. Expect very bad, slow service, and a complete lack of ability by the locals to make decisions independently or to engage in abstract thought.
Blank stares and incomprehensible “Singlish” are the norm and you must be prepared to wait forever for your change at bars. Singaporean society has a very top-down command structure so the rank-and-file people are not asked to think for themselves. Even the simplest request that is not by-the-book will be met with stupefaction and a “can not lah” by the locals. Need something at a restaurant or bar? Just get it for yourself and you’ll save 15 minutes. Have a different idea that will be mutually beneficial?
Just keep it to yourself unless you’re talking the president of the company. So that’s a lot of badmouthing of Singapore for one article. My next article will be on the pros of the place, of which there are several, and where to go if you do find yourself there. Not all hope is lost for the single dude in Singapore, but it’s definitely a high-difficulty location for experts only. Boris adds: Unless someone is paying you to be there, there is absolutely no reason to go! Charlie Bushmeister Call me Charlie.
I decided to join with others to write this blog because I feel that I have learned a lot about how to succeed in life in general. It took a lot of trial and error and I've developed a wealth of philosophies, skills, and tricks of the trade that would be very useful to like minded guys out there. There's no need to repeat my mistakes, of which I have made many, instead I urge you to read this blog, absorb and practice its lessons, and then go out and have the most awesome life, on your own terms. To me that means good health, success in your career, the number and type of relationships you want, and general satisfaction that you're not wasting your life spinning your wheels, but going forward always towards your goals.